Hawzah News Agency - Question: I am a young guy in my first few years of college. My dad thinks that all happiness comes from studying until I get a PhD and then making a ton of money. He doesn’t care about my religion at all. He never asks me if I’m praying, fasting, or keeping up with my faith. I know his mindset is wrong, but I feel like I can’t tell him the truth. What should I do?
Answer:
You should definitely keep studying and aim high in your career, just like your dad wants. If he sees you succeeding academically, he won’t give you a hard time about your prayers, fasting, or faith. As the Holy Qur’an says: “And seek, by means of what Allah has given you, the future abode, and do not neglect your portion of this world.”
Don’t give your father an excuse to criticize your religion; prove that you can balance both your college studies and your religious duties. When the timing is right, try to share the profound meaning of this tradition with your dad. Imam Ali (pbuh) was once asked about the true meaning of goodness, and he replied: “Goodness is not having a lot of wealth and many children, but goodness is having great knowledge, being magnanimous, and taking pride in worshipping your Lord among the people.”
However, if your dad actively tries to stop your religious practices—even while you are doing everything he asked academically—do not give in. Remember the golden rule: “There is no obedience to a creation if it means disobeying the Creator.”
Regardless of what happens, you must always be highly respectful and polite when dealing with your father. In the Qur’an, Allah commands us to worship Him first, and to be kind and dutiful to our parents second. By showing excellent Islamic manners, you might actually guide your dad and save him from his spiritual poverty. Having good character is the ultimate tool for achieving continuous success.
I have nothing more to say about your father and others like him, except to leave you with this powerful tradition from the Prophet (pbuh and his family). He once looked at some children and said, “Woe to the children of the end times because of their fathers!”
Someone asked, “O Messenger of Allah, because their fathers are polytheists?”
The Prophet (pbuh and his family) replied, “No, from their believing fathers. They do not teach them any of their religious obligations, and if the children try to learn, they prevent them and are satisfied just seeing them gain a few material things in this worldly life. I am free from them, and they are free from me.
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Source: "For a better future" by Hussain Ansariyan , Q20
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